today story

hi! deary me, (8/12/2016)

ok today just some random day in my life. yeah~ everything was alright before i hit the reality. Today my beloved younger sister. *i hope i can mean it .

do something that's almost ruin me. Could make me hard to breath or just dead may be. But i try to catch up and as ALWAYS! i SURVIVE. *hope so..amin

yeah~ may be my problem not as BIG as others. but cause that's MY PROBLEM not others. so it LOOK SO BIG to me to handle. 

my sister just give what MINE to OTHERS! cause? she just love to clean. and she give 3 BIG BOX full of MY BELOVED thing to others (-_- )

yup i know. i admit it. i spend time with my own space more rather with people. When i being socialise. I used that space to ignore the pain.

end

today (9/12/2016), i wake up with hope. tomorrow i will find my way to meet. to protect MINE STUFF.but than once again.

i reach my phone and read, 

'barang fifa tu akk da amk separuh dan bg kt org susah, kta ummi dah tk guna dah itu akk dtg amk kalau tk akk tk amk pun'. emoji menunduk n emoji senyum


You know the felling was?

semalam, someone just said she DON'T KNOW. semalam, bila aku dapat tau, what mine has missing. I keep asking, my mom my dad. if somebody know where mine?

and they just answer. Nope, they dont know. At last i know someone already get mine. HOW? somebody just give what MINE to others.

i reach that person, try to talk. try to get back. Yup look kurang hajar. Tapi nak wat camne bukan aku yang bagi. Orang yang memandai bagi barang-barang aku.WITH OUT I KNOW/ WITH OUT PERMISSION/AND TANPA RASA BERSALAH.

what the?

so semalam i just marah kat sorang tu je. but im not the type suka menyumpah. so just yelling in silence. cause somebody will ROTAN me. hurt me HURT me SO HARD. like always if i voice out my pain

tapi tadi ble i dapat tau dia *orang yang berbeza dari yang semalam, yang i sangat marah  tu rupanya bersubahat jugak. and she just said. 'OH! I DONT KNOW THAT 3 BOX INCLUDE YOUR'S THING' she just said that?
with out rasa bersalah?

ok fine, and she plus (kakak barang yang da terbagi tu........ bla bla i cant HEAR anything). Agaknya.. macam mana dia rasa kalau benda yang dia sayang dipertikaikan KEPENTINGANNYA. 

may be she dont know. DON'T EVER KNOW. how much i LOVE it. yela this is not first time. but everytime always the hard one.

Sebelum ni, my majalah, my baju, my comic. Anything everything i spend my WHOLE life with them. They just throw it up. my book, my cloth. Whatever the like. They can gladly give to others.

'YA! IF YOU WANT TO GIVE SOMETHING TO OTHERS! JUST USED WHAT YOURSSS NOT MINE! AND THE PROBLEM IS. YOU DON'T ever ASK ME FIRST. WHILE YOU just GLADLY GIVE IT. without my permission.'

SO NOW, I NEED MORE MONEY. TO PROTECT WHAT MINE AND PUT THEM AT THE SAFE PLACE. may be i should include myself

fighting!